There’s nothing I detest more than an inconsiderate person, and although I see myself as someone who considers the feelings of everyone (and they mama) before making any decision, there’s one person that I’ve neglected grossly. I’m that person. That person is me.
My love is like water, abundant and overflowing, but when I forgot to love myself, that well ran dry and chronic half-assness ensued.
I invested in half-assed business deals, I had sex with half-ass romantic partners, and most importantly, I half-assed myself when it came to my spiritual, mental, and physical health.
When there was no one left to blame for my deficit of joy, energy, and passion, I realized that maybe, the culprit of my unhappiness wasn’t my man, my job, or my circumstances. That culprit was me. I am that person. Jada Pinkett-Smith recently took to Instagram to reveal that she is on a similar journey to wholeness and admitted that initially, what she found on that road wasn’t pretty:
So I’m going through a process of self-evaluation and recognizing places in which I’ve been deeply unkind and unloving and having to really see, not only how I’ve been that way with others, but how I’ve been that way with myself.”
How you treat the people around you is often a direct reflection of how you treat yourself. In my experience, someone who is unkind to others is usually not very kind to themselves, so if you’ve had an attitude with the people around you lately, this one’s for you, sis: what you focus on will expand, and some of us are so focused on the storms in life that we forget to notice when a rainbow is right in front of us.
A truly mature woman understands that we get all down on ourselves sometimes; but please understand that no self-slander will be tolerated here. Jada said that when it comes to negative self-talk, we have to check ourselves before we mentally wreck ourselves:
[I’ve been] recognizing that self-love is about changing [that] harsh messaging within my mind, and the tone in which I speak to myself.”
When you recognize that your energy is a treasure that should be protected at all costs, you move different. Jada said that this logic also applies when it comes to choosing her inner circle:
“And also realizing what I let in my life and who I allow in my life is a representation of self-love. This process has been very revealing in my process of eliminating unkindness and finding deeper ways to love. So, self-love, changing that messaging in my mind to more kind and gentle words; how I speak to myself. And being very careful about who I let in my life and what I let in my life.”
Pastor Pinkett just slid through with the word we needed on this beautiful Monday afternoon, and that word is: self-love. That’s it. That’s the whole paragraph. It may seem like the world is on your shoulders and that you’ll never have enough time, money, or resources to reach your goals, but quite frankly my dear, that’s bullsh*t. Think enough of yourself to know you got it girl, you got it.
If you can change how you talk to yourself, you can change the world.
Featured image by Instagram/@JadaPinkettSmith.